


secret love song

by wintersend



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Historical, Alternate Universe - Royalty, Bodyguard Cassian, Dancing, F/M, Forbidden Love, Getting Together, Jealous Jyn, Jealousy, Princess Jyn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-26
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-03-17 23:07:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29724612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wintersend/pseuds/wintersend
Summary: Princess of Lah'mu, Jyn Erso, is sick of pining after her royal bodyguard. So there's only one solution, really. Thrust into him into the arms of another.(Certainly, she's had better ideas.)
Relationships: Cassian Andor/Jyn Erso
Comments: 22
Kudos: 67





	secret love song

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this back when I joined the fandom three years ago, but I never finished the ending. I don't know what possessed me to pick it up again but here we are.
> 
> I tagged this historical but I'm not even sure that's correct. It's really vague, but the Ersos are the royal family of Lah'mu and that's all you really need to know.
> 
> Enjoy :)

“You should dance with her,” Jyn says when Cassian approaches her for the first time that evening. No doubt hoping to ask _her_ for a dance instead.

Jyn knows that he doesn’t care much for this sort of dancing – he’s always preferred the lethal sort of two steel swords clashing together. But he’s polite enough to ask anyway, at every ball, without fail, for _one dance_. Only one because Cassian never wants more than what he can have and because Jyn always has someone else to dance with, some other aristocrat to entertain.

But it doesn’t matter; to Jyn, her one dance with Cassian is always the highlight of her night.

Now, she’s too frustrated— _upset_ to dance with him. It’s better if she puts some distance between them. She thinks she’s going to embarrass herself if he comes too close.

“With who?” Cassian inquires, confusion written across his handsome face.

Jyn nods towards the lady, dressed in wine purple, brown hair elegantly twisted up in a bun, not unlike her own. She stands next to the grandiose fountain in the middle of the room, pretending to gossip and giggle with her friends, but Jyn sees her glancing at Cassian every couple of minutes like a moth drawn to a flame.

Helena Krennic is the daughter of Orson Krennic, who is co-owner of the Lah’mu Railways Company and founder of Krennic Bank, therefore a very important individual that she _must_ impress – according to her royal advisor, at least. Helena herself is an accomplished pianist, an esteemed painter, an occasional poet, and an admirer of Cassian Andor, apparently.

Cassian swivels in the direction Jyn gestured towards, his frown deepening.

“Why?”

“Because she’s been looking at you all night,” Jyn answers, relieved to hear that her voice is not quite as bitter as she feared it would be. Yet, she can’t completely hide the contempt either.

“I haven’t noticed,” he says, and she knows he’s being honest. When it comes to battle, nothing escapes his attention, but with the ladies, he’s hopeless.

_(Has he noticed that Jyn, too, has been looking at him since she was fifteen? No, he has not. Or perhaps he’d thought her crush childish. Perhaps he hadn’t realized that as she grew up, so did her feelings for him. She’s no longer a young girl admiring her older, braver, skillful royal bodyguard. She’s a woman who’s fallen in love with the forbidden fruit.)_

She knows Helena isn’t to blame – Jyn has no claim on Cassian, who is a handsome young man, and whose noble job of protecting the princess made him even more attractive to certain people. Ladies have noticed him before. And while some find his background and lowborn status disagreeable, others deem it a testament of talent and ambition that he could rise as far as to be Jyn Erso’s royal bodyguard at such a young age. Rags to riches is an appealing fairytale. And Helena appears to be a fan of fairytales.

Jyn hates Helena for that. She hates herself for wanting Cassian, and she hates Cassian for being so damn wantable and for not wanting her back. Or if he does, for not showing it. Most of all, she hates the world they live in, and she hates the universe for making her a princess but making Cassian a nobody. It would be an impossible love affair.

“She’s the daughter of Orson Krennic,” Jyn pushes, metaphorically thrusting him into Helena’s arms because she finds it the most reasonable option – letting go of Cassian so he can belong to somebody else. Perhaps then she could learn to let go of her feelings as well.

 _There, have him,_ she imagines saying to Helena. _The princess gives you her blessing. Have him, just don’t let_ me _have him._

“You’re being impolite,” Jyn continues, throwing him a stern look. “Go and dance with her before she takes offense and tells her father that the princess employs a royal bodyguard with no manners. Queen’s orders.”

There’s a laugh in Cassian’s voice, only because he doesn’t quite realize the extent of her turmoil.

“You’re not queen yet,” he reminds her.

“But I am your boss,” she answers, leaving no room for argument. Cassian seems amused, not subdued, but he leaves as requested and asks Helena Krennic for a dance.

* * *

Jyn expected Cassian would dance with Helena once, maybe twice if she’s pushy, and then make his way back to her or blend into the background as he usually does at these gatherings. But he’s danced with her four times before retreating to a secluded corner, next to a painting of Jyn’s grandmother, where they stand even now. Conversing intimately with each other. Intimately, on Helena’s end, at least. Cassian’s expression is smooth, a mask, but Jyn has known him long enough to recognize that he is less than thrilled with the situation.

She’s watched them as she twirled on the dance floor, making polite conversation with men of power and great importance. She’s seen the way Helena pressed herself tightly against Cassian as they danced, and the way she played with her hair and leaned closer to whisper something to him as they talked. Jyn has sent him into the lion’s den, it seems, and Cassian could not find his way out.

So maybe she feels a bit guilty. Or angry. Or _regretful_ , even. Whatever it is, between two dances with insufferable statesmen, Jyn makes her way over to the not so lovely couple and politely requests Cassian’s presence for a dance. Helena can’t say no even if she wants to. (And, no doubt, she wants to.)

Jyn knows it’s not exactly traditional for a woman to ask a man to dance, and she knows it will fuel gossip and scandalize the aristocracy, but she doesn’t care. She owes it Cassian to rescue him from Helena, and –

She changed her mind. She can’t let the other woman have him after all.

She pushed him towards Helena but she did it in anger, in desperation, in hopelessness. Seeing them together cleared up her mind. If she thought it would help her move on, she was sorely mistaken.

Cassian is relieved as he leads her to the dance floor but only Jyn sees the way his expression loosens. He doesn’t question her erratic behavior. Seconds pass in silence, Jyn trying to ignore how warm his hands are on her waist. How nice he smells. How right it feels to be held by him. How, if she squints, he almost looks like he wants her too.

She breaks the quiet when the song is nearing its end, knowing she’ll be soon swept away by someone else.

“Did you enjoy conversing with Lady Helena?”

There’s not much bite in her words anymore – Cassian’s embrace has mellowed her anger – but he still raises his eyebrows at her.

“I’d rather have conversed with two rabid dogs.”

Jyn’s snort is positively unladylike but his lips quirk at the sound. Her mood brightens.

“But you know this,” Cassian adds, dark eyes searching hers.

“Well, I just thought...” She shakes her head. The song comes to a halt but neither of them lets go. “I don’t know what I thought. But she’s very pretty, wouldn’t you say?”

“Jyn –”

Cassian is interrupted before he could say more and Jyn turns with a fake smile towards the newcomer – no other than Lord Krennic himself. Cassian bows, excusing himself, but Jyn feels his eyes lingering on her as he retreats into the shadows.

* * *

She doesn’t see him again until she’s back in her suite. Cassian waits for her in her sitting room, his cravat gone, his vest unbuttoned. Jyn felt dreadfully tired as she made her way up the stairs, her eyelids heavy, her feet aching – but now, seeing Cassian in front of her, she perks up. She could spare him another hour of conversation before retiring for the day. Especially since she’s barely seen him today at all.

“You’re in luck,” Jyn remarks as she plops down on a recliner opposite of him, hiking up her dress to remove her shoes. She massages her sore feet, wondering what it would take to convince Cassian to do it for her. Dancing all night really takes its toll on one’s legs – by the end of the night, she could barely stand.

“Lord Krennic doesn’t want a _‘strange figure like you’_ around his only daughter. He’s tried to subtly persuade me to call you off, I think. As if you were my dog or something, can you believe it?” Jyn huffs, even though, yes, she can believe it, and so can Cassian. “In any case, I doubt Helena could pursue a relationship with you now. Even she has to realize that.”

Cassian scowls. He looks good like this, still in his fancy attire but comfortably messy instead of exceptionally neat. Jyn likes the way his shirt crumples up and the way his hair falls into his eyes. The way he leans back against the couch with leisure. He looks like Cassian now, not like one of the detestable dukes she’s had to endure this evening.

“Oh, don’t take offense,” she adds at his frown. “Krennic is a hateful man, he’s always been.”

Her blood boiled at the way Krennic had spoken of Cassian – but she doesn’t want him to be upset now. Krennic doesn’t matter. Even the royal advisor doesn’t matter. She would always, always pick Cassian. (And if that makes her a terrible future queen… well. An issue for a different day.)

“I don’t care what Orson Krennic, or his daughter thinks of me,” Cassian says, his voice low. “I just don’t understand why we are talking about her again.”

She shrugs. “I thought you might want to know that she won’t be bothering you anymore.”

“I wasn’t very afraid of that.”

“Good then.” She nods, and they fall into a silence less comfortable than it usually is with Cassian. He seems calm as he observes her but Jyn feels her skin itch under his gaze. Does he see that when he looks at her? Can he sense her heart beating faster every time he’s in her vicinity? How much does he, her formidable royal bodyguard, truly notice?

“Jyn,” he drawls her name, a question in his voice. She looks up at him instinctively. “You’ve been acting strange.”

She swallows, trying to evade the question. “Have I?”

He nods. “Positively.”

“Strange how?”

“Strange about this Lady Helena business,” he says. He’s so calm, so in contrast with Jyn’s growing nerves. He’s figured her out. Hasn’t he? Of course he has. Cassian knows her too well. “If I had to take a guess, I’d say you were jealous of her.”

“I wasn’t,” she says – too fast. An amateur move. Is she _trying_ to be caught? Part of her wouldn’t even be surprised. “Why would I be?”

A smile plays on his lips. Small but genuine. A far cry from his other smiles; polite, disarming, reassuring – all fake. She’s one of the few people who get to see his real smiles. She always feels pity for the rest of the world who will never know how beautiful it can truly be.

“I don’t understand why you should be either,” he says, rising from his place. Jyn remains seated, staring up at him as he walks closer. “You know I only have eyes for you.”

It’s not true, she’s never known – but he says it like a confession that she can’t misinterpret. It’s not a platonic statement, it’s not even because of his job as her royal bodyguard. It’s too… intimate for that. He means it the same way she only has eyes for him – exclusively, faithfully, admiringly.

Jyn’s heart stops for what feels like too long before it begins pounding in her chest. The shaky breath she lets out is audible in the quiet room, full of tenderness, longing and hope. She finally stands too, her aching feet forgotten.

“Do I?” she counters quietly, her eyes trained on his.

In a rare moment of vulnerability, Cassian allows his feelings to show on his face, allows her to read him like a book. What stands out most is devotion – so strong and absolute, it nearly knocks her off her feet.

“I hoped you did,” he says, his voice honest and gentle.

“I didn’t,” she answers but her lips curve up.

“My mistake. I shall make it clear from now.”

Cassian reaches up, so slow like he expects her to object, fingering the golden barrette in her hair. He hesitates for a moment before removing it, his thumb catching on her cheek. Her hair cascades down her shoulders, brown locks framing her face, Cassian combing through them with his fingers.

“I like your hair down,” he tells her. Such a simple thing to say, but Jyn can’t hold herself back anymore. She reaches up to kiss him, gasping into his mouth as his hand wraps around her waist. It’s a quick but intense thing, stealing the breath from her lungs, making her tremble in his arms.

She pulls away to look him in the eye, voice low and insistent.

“Tell me again that you want me. And don’t ever let me forget.”

**Author's Note:**

> One day, I might write jealous Cassian for a change, instead of jealous Jyn... But I'm not gonna lie, I do prefer jealous Jyn. It comes to me more naturally, I think.
> 
> I'm not sure how to feel about this. Writing royalty Jyn while trying to keep her in character was hard, and I think it shows that this was one of my earliest stories for them. Perhaps the setting just ultimately doesn't really feel like _them_. But I figured if I wrote it, I might as well post it - maybe some of you can enjoy it!
> 
> Anyway, thanks for reading! As always, you can find me on [tumblr](https://andorerso.tumblr.com/)


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